Secure, anxious, avoidant, and fearful-avoidant, she explains. Here is what you should do to make him prioritize you over his baby mama while still looking after his kid: No, its not normal for a guy to talk to his baby mama every day, especially when hes in a new relationship and has moved on. I have to keep tabs with her. To stop being jealous, break up. 5. I hear you! I say, if you can't handle it and have reason not to trust him, get out before you think about marriage or kids of your own with him. In my response, I provide guidance on how to approach this question, key indicators for long-term relationship success, and steps you can take to stop feeling second in your relationship. Should I give him a chance or walk away?? This is accomplished when both parties are honest with each other. I spent time with the son and made dinners and watched the dam YouTube videos. Have casual talks about his kids and show all-around interest in them. You need to help him set a boundary so that he doesnt take any bait and sticks to his scheduled visitation and financial commitments. And you did the right thing by deciding to manage your own expectations and be flexible with your time! He needs to draw the line and assure you that hes completely moved out without leaving a trace behind. You shouldnt be evasive because itll only make you look like a jealous person trying hard to intrude. This can be something as simple as some of his clothes to leaving larger items they bought together like a TV or computer. I hear what youre going through. If you dont want anything to do with her, she needs to respect that as does your boyfriend. Phil lives in England, UK, and has around 20 years experience as a professional life, career and executive coach. She was the one who ended things (she was having an affair, but not sure if she still is). Best of luck with the new Baby, he looks just beautiful.Congrats! You should always make your partner feel you have his best interests at heart. - I don't think you're selfish, per se.. It's reasonable to want to spend time with your boyfriend. I'm a f(21) on college break right now. I dont know what the dynamic with his ex is going to be once they are separate, so I cant assess the situation yet. Getting to the root of the situation will help you see things from his point of view. Roommate Boyfriend Etiquette Explained: 10 Tips! I knew this mess before I got into the situation! He started this blog to help others find and define their own self development journey. Speaking with others about your issues can ease the burden on your shoulders. Having a chance to see if his treatment of you changes when she is around can go a long way in making sure they are just friends. Whenever I call him late at night, his phone is busy as he is talking to her. As long as you're seeing him, they'll be part of yours too. Obviously!!! It's necessary to be open-minded, especially when it involves his baby and the mama. Oh I didnt know she would tell . If he steps over a boundary that youve set, then you need to call him out on it and let him know that its not acceptable. If he is going through a divorce, he has issues that he has to resolve with regard to the dissolution of his marriage (such as issues with regard to their estate, finances or kids) and that could be interfering with his readiness for a new relationship. And thats the finely straw now. He nitpicks what I said and tears me apart. Evidently, you're not his number one priority. Im ready to move the relationship on, spend more time together, but it could be three to four months before we can do that (weve been dating five months now). He says I try to control him and his life. Your email address will not be published. But actually talking on the phone isnt always necessary, and texting back and forth about things not related to their child is not normal. This house isnt a going to be ours. Therefore, it's critical to speak to your family or friends whenever you have a dilemma in your relationship. Even if I live here. But its all in vain. Omg the rage in me for the last two weeks. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Find the line between those two scenarios and see where you are at. She thinks hes just coming over to see his baby, but every time hes here, he cheats on her. Hi Melissa question for you when a guy is divorced for thirteen years and tells me his ex has no one so she leans on him she text often he sometimes lies to me he does not like cofertation at all am I being to controlling that it bothers me his kids are older sixteen and eighteen that ex always texting or calls about her health issue and he said it would change nothing has much Im not jealous or insurcure Im fifty three years old is he so attentive with her to me its weird at times he says they do not have a relationship but amicable she is the one that ended it they were married only six years he is a very good guy but sometimes he over does it I live with him so I see what goes on am I crazy thinking its weird ex always texting and he says that they have no relationship sometimes I should leave to me it seem he never got over his failed marriage he treats me good but I always feel she is his life are ex suppose to be the rest of his life or does it ever wide down, I love your advice. Its teenageism. my boyfriend spends the night with his baby mama. Search. If, as I hope, it is the second, how about you back off, make friends with that woman, offer to help her where you can, and encourage, to the best of your ability, a healthy and stable family that YOU are a part of? You should be polite to one another for the sake of the childs wellbeing, but that doesnt mean you have to be friends. I say..move on.. they are 'attached' for life because of this child.. there is not much you can do about it anyway this bond is stronger.. IMO. Unfortunately this is one of the most frequent complaints we get from our readers, where they feel they aren't a priority for their boyfriend or husband. I just wanted common bloody respect. I invited my cousin over and we chilled. The best way for your partner to open up more is if you make him feel secure. I get it !!! Is he calling his kids mum every day that it makes you uncomfortable? Im not sure if they have been sexual, but I think they have. And this cow still talking 25-45 mins at the door way. Thanks, And I fear that this is the top for me. You can even talk about things like child support or any other baby-related matter he mostly thinks about. As my mind rambled on, I could hear Tom talking. In a month I had a nervous break down and moved out. To see if he actually likes you take this quick free quiz and we'll let you know if it's worth putting any more time into this guy. Its sometimes not an easy choice. Or bother with anything. Stay close to him when he's on the phone. Because, if ANY of my boyfriends EVER acted like you - he'd be GONE. Seems like the sooner you wrap your head around that, the better. When you communicate your concerns in a non-threatening way, you increase the likelihood that your concerns will be truly heard and that the other person will be open to changing his behavior. When you get clear on what could be happening in your relationship (what needs arent being met) thats causing you to feel like youre second, its important to communicate your concerns. Don't sleep on the summoning affects of a cry for girl talk. He recycles what I say if I lose Jordan I lose everything. While the true needs of his kids must come first and its his job as a parent to make sure those needs are met, the reality is that a relationship will not last if your needs continue to go unmet, especially the need to have time together as a couple. when a man have a kid (s) with his ex (s) they are a package deal.if u want to be with him, u have to be supportive n understanding and don't stress him out cuz he is not giving u enough time.this can lead to fights n eventually a break up. He cheated on his ex wife with a girl who waited for him for 5 years for him to divorce his wife. And its his role as a parent to fulfill those needs. 11 Things To Do When Your Boyfriend Talks to His Baby Mama Everyday 1. 23 Tell-All Signs of a Co-worker Falling in Love with You, 15 Truth Why Should You Never Date A Musician, What To Do When Your Boyfriend Breaks Up With You And You Live Together, How To Make Your Boyfriend Understand That He Hurt You Badly, How To Get BTS To Notice You At A Concert (ARMY Should Know This! I don't think this is normal at all, and I don't know anyone else that sleeps over at their child's mother's house. But she's just left home and he still won't stay. It's also crucial to speak to someone you can truly trust to avoid heeding negative advice. That means not texting or calling him at all hours of the night, or when she knows hes with you. Hes begging me to hold on for reconciliation. And he ignores me. She still wants to do family stuff (they have two young kids under 10 years old) together and he obliges he says to keep things amicable. The negotiations have all been relatively amicable so far, but they are not final. And when he came to ask Who does she think she is. I wasnt looking to over take any mom roll. And we argued less. I am unsure why. Neither does it mean that youre going to try and stop him from being the best dad he can be. If yes, then as his girlfriend, you should do something about it. Instead, let the process happen naturally. Your boyfriend wouldn't easily fess up about whether he is still in love with his baby mama or if he's just acting his part as her baby daddy. Not without a fight anyway. The New Boyfriend is not the same person whom She had an affair with. She Needs to Respect Your Personal Space. Did you enjoy this article? Going out with a mummy's boy is proving frustrating for a woman who just wants a normal relationship. Join in on some of their activities together. For those dating after divorce with kids, sleepovers can be fun. My boyfriend and I have been together for about a year and a half. Or, on the flip side of that, a childless step dating partner or stepparent, may not be able to fully appreciate the scope of needs that the child has and may choose to see the biological parent as indulgent and overprotective at the cost of meeting the couples needs.. Myself I wanted to argue away from the kid initially but he told me In The beginning whatever you can say to me you can say to him. You've spotted that the iMessage, WhatsApp, or even Snapchat app is open on his phone and he's furiously typing away in front of you. Therefore, if you feel your partner isn't completely open about his baby momma, you should ask for transparency. 3. A couple of years ago, during a time when we were broken up and hadn't spoken for a few months, he had a casual relationship with another woman and got her pregnant.